"Ash78, voting early and often" (ash78)
06/26/2020 at 10:22 • Filed to: satire, Taketheoutsideline | 9 | 26 |
Despite the ride’s perennial favorite status among many visitors, Disneyland in Anaheim, California, plans to completely overhaul Mr. Toad’s Wild Ride with a
101 Dalmatians
theme. The ride is one the park’s few remaining attractions that dates back to its 1955 opening, although it was heavily modernized in 1983. The ride is based on the
Mr. Toad
character from Scottish author Kenneth Grahame’s 1908 masterpiece novel
The Wind
in the Willows
and the various animated features that it inspired.
Disneyland (actual size)
Newly-minted Disney CEO Bob Chapek insists this move was not a result of any specific complaints, but rather represents a long-overdue revision based on outdated amphibian stereotypes. The ride features a first-person vintage car driving experience, with numerous crashes, quick turns, and surprises.
Chapek shared his sentiments via an ABC interview with Robin Roberts on Good Morning America Friday, explaining, “While Mr. Toad’s ride was undoubtedly fun, much of its thematic imagery comes at the expense of toads, who are portrayed as greedy, capricious, and often careless. In reality, nothing could be further from the truth. Toads are a vital contributor to marshlands and riverine ecosystems.”
Ride protestors on a fact- and hurt-finding mission
Revisions will be made throughout the 2020-2021 season to reflect the 1961 film
101 Dalmatians
, specifically replacing the Mr. Toad vehicle with antagonist Cruella DeVille (who was also portrayed by Glenn Close in the 1996 live-action remake).
If they were real, they’d all be dead today.
Sponsored by Cadillac, the DeVille character will be renamed “Cruella DTS” and will cruise smoothly through a series of sweeping turns with mild excitement. Dogs that enter the roadway will be unharmed thanks to the DTS’s automatic braking system. Disney Imagineers believe this decision will make the ride less scary for children, but will also appeal more directly to 85-year-old men who shouldn’t otherwise be driving cars.
The ride is not the only time potentially derogatory toad imagery has been initially embraced by the public, only to be rejected just a few short decades later.
Children’s author Arnold Lobel, who wrote the 1970s Caldecott award-winning
Frog and Toad
book series, was recently boycotted and saw thousands of copies of his works burned in the streets across the country. Protesters felt the Toad character was unfairly shown as lazy, depressed, and pessimistic in contrast with Frog’s upbeat and productive nature.
Road corrupts Frog with his incessant cookie habit.
The Caldecott Award Committee has also considered rescinding Lobel’s awards unless the books are revised to reflect a hardworking and hopeful version of Toad. According to committee chairman Guy Montag, “It’s clear in the lens of today’s society that toads can do everything that frogs can, from growing gardens to exercising willpower with their cookie eating. While we appreciate Mr. Lobel’s contribution to childhood reading, it’s time to modernize or face the consequences.”
Mr. Lobel died in 1987 and was thus unavailable for comment.
Chapek also addressed Ms. Roberts’s comments over rumors that Disney planned to update the Dumbo ride to allow users to swoop down and kick animatronic “Karen” villains who are “cutting in line for a Fastpass.” Mr. Chapek explained that “These comments are unfounded internet chatter. Everyone knows Karens use the Disney app, not the Fastpass kiosks.”
The 101 Dalmatians decision is not without controversy, however. Nikola Markovic, president of the Croatian-American Anti-Defamation League in New York City, already took to social media to deride the choice, rhetorically asking “How long must our vibrant Adriatic people be callously portrayed as nearly-identical, sex-crazed dogs willing to bow down to the will of human masters?”
SBA Thanks You For All The Fish
> Ash78, voting early and often
06/26/2020 at 10:36 | 1 |
Well, that ride was always far better when experienced “under the influence”.... SO, with everything now legal in California are they going to hand out edibles and blotter paper in the interminably long line for the ride?
Here’s NPH trying out the ride ..
jminer
> Ash78, voting early and often
06/26/2020 at 10:37 | 3 |
Excellent read - thank you!
At first I thought this was real then it got a bit more ridiculous and than I saw the tag. Nicely done.
facw
> jminer
06/26/2020 at 10:42 | 2 |
If you haven’t seen it, this is the (real) inspiration:
!!! UNKNOWN CONTENT TYPE !!!
RamblinRover Luxury-Yacht
> Ash78, voting early and often
06/26/2020 at 10:43 | 2 |
committee chairman Guy Montag
PatBateman
> Ash78, voting early and often
06/26/2020 at 11:00 | 2 |
Why are we not addressing the elephant in the room? THE DUMBO RIDE HAS A VERY PROBLEMATIC THEME AND NEEDS TO BE IMMEDIATELY CHANGED TO A MUCH MORE INCLUSIVE STORYLINE.
And don’t get me started on the motherfucking Tea Cups.
ETA: I actually like that The House of Mouse is changing the log ride, so don’t start with me.
Ash78, voting early and often
> facw
06/26/2020 at 11:09 | 2 |
When we went to Disney about 3 years ago, I was shocked that ride was still intact...or even made it past the early 80s. Terrible film, plus I doubt any kids on the ride had even seen it or knew the context .
Princess and the Frog is such an underrated movie. Same with Tangled.
Ash78, voting early and often
> PatBateman
06/26/2020 at 11:46 | 0 |
I probably rode it 20-30 times as a kid and could never have told you what it was about. I went in 2016 as an adult and was like “WTF?”
I think the fact that it’s in the back of WDW and doesn’t get a ton of attention helped let it slide, no pun intended.
ranwhenparked
> Ash78, voting early and often
06/26/2020 at 12:44 | 1 |
That, and the movie has been mostly out of print and out of circulation for decades, the vast majority of people riding the ride have never seen it and have maybe only heard about it in relation to the controversy.
His Stigness
> Ash78, voting early and often
06/26/2020 at 12:54 | 1 |
You’re a genius. There were probably way more rides you could have picked for this story. I love it.
What are your thoughts on them announcing Splash now? It’s clear the change was in the works for a while now. Concept drawings like the ones they released only tend to come out when they have years of work behind it.
I’m torn on the idea, only because I think Zootopia would have been a better fit only due to the ride location. It’s in Critter Country, not New Orleans Square. Granted the normal ride entrance is right next to Haunted Mansion, so it can be placed in New Orleans, or next to Frontier land, or Critter Country.
But I’m still excited for the change. The ride has always been an odd ball considering its source material. But Disney really shot themselves in the foot with that. If they hadn’t tried to bury Song of the South it wouldn’t be as much of an issue. But when you try to ignore it, people are going to find it and shove it in your face.
Ash78, voting early and often
> His Stigness
06/26/2020 at 13:09 | 0 |
Toad is a true OG Jalop, and Cruella has her car cred, too. I’ve gotta keep it car related ;)
The timing doesn’t surprise me, but you’re right that this has probably been on the drawing board for years. Disney’s got a long history, which means a complicated one. Walt himself was pretty well known as a mild anti-Semite (not quite as bad as Henry Ford) and an occasional Nazi sympathizer.
I had completely forgotten that Disney did Zootopia...that would have been an absolute LOCK on racial sensitivity. Can’t believe they missed it.
His Stigness
> Ash78, voting early and often
06/26/2020 at 13:28 | 0 |
WALT IS A GOD! Geese man!
But seriously, you’re right. But I think Walt gets a pass because he is known to be more anti-comrade than anything. I think it was kind of shitty to deny Khrushchev access to Disneyland.
But anyways, I think Splash was their only real option to get Tiana into the park. There’s just no room within the land to add a park, or even a queue . Haunted Mansion and Pirates are both unique in that the actual ride exists outside of the park boundary. So Splash was their only real choice, but it still makes sense since they can turn the water ride in a marsh.
PatBateman
> Ash78, voting early and often
06/26/2020 at 13:51 | 0 |
It’s definitely out of the way in WDW and you have to go looking for it. Considering that and Goofy’s baby roller coaster are right next to it, I went over there dragging some youngins with me to do a quick twofer ride combo.
Ash78, voting early and often
> PatBateman
06/26/2020 at 14:03 | 0 |
Not far from Tom Sawyer’s island, which is awesome, but is probably on another shortlist for revision somewhere...
PatBateman
> Ash78, voting early and often
06/26/2020 at 16:40 | 1 |
A MOANA -THEMED AREA!!! Great idea!!!
Ash78, voting early and often
> PatBateman
06/26/2020 at 16:46 | 0 |
Actually that’s pretty brilliant. I mean, it’s not like Tom Sawyer was really a big Disney thing anyway. They could pretty easily reskin that entire island to look like Polynesia. Even the frontier fort could get a South Pacific makeover. You’d still have all the fun, plus kids would recognize it a lot better.
PatBateman
> Ash78, voting early and often
06/26/2020 at 17:19 | 1 |
That’s the one thing that gets me about the Songs of the South-themed log ride, and has for the past 20 years: no one younger than 40 remembers that movie. Briar Rabbit? Who?! Zippity Doo Dah?! Whaaat?
Peter Pan, Winnie the Pooh, all that stuff is classic. WDW got rid of Figment over at Epcot, so it makes perfect sense to update some of the rides that are tied to lesser known movies nowadays.
415s30 W123TSXWaggoIIIIIIo ( •_•))°)
> Ash78, voting early and often
06/27/2020 at 01:27 | 0 |
Oh you want that? Go to the mormon, “ Polynesian Cultural Center” on my island, where they get poor kids from around the Pacific to work there in a sort of indentured service for college.
DipodomysDeserti
> 415s30 W123TSXWaggoIIIIIIo ( •_•))°)
06/27/2020 at 01:43 | 0 |
Being from Arizona, I was surprised by the LDS presence in Hawaii. Then I thought about it a bit, and wasn’t surprised at all.
415s30 W123TSXWaggoIIIIIIo ( •_•))°)
> DipodomysDeserti
06/27/2020 at 02:10 | 0 |
They are creepy AF. I know people that got away from it. There is another group that has a free lunch buffet, it’s Harikrishnas or Ba hai, one of those, the same people own a hippie grocery store in Honolulu called Down to Earth . Hawaii attracts all kinds of stuff.
Ash78, voting early and often
> 415s30 W123TSXWaggoIIIIIIo ( •_•))°)
06/27/2020 at 09:52 | 0 |
So basically like being an intern at Disney...
DipodomysDeserti
> 415s30 W123TSXWaggoIIIIIIo ( •_•))°)
06/27/2020 at 13:24 | 1 |
I grew up with a good deal of mormon friends so I never really thought anything of it. I have a Baha’i, Buddhist, Mennonite, Russian Jehova’s Witness, Russian Orthodox, Roman Catholic and some weird Dr. Bronners inspired church just in my neighborhood. Nothing attracts religionists quite like the desert.
415s30 W123TSXWaggoIIIIIIo ( •_•))°)
> Ash78, voting early and often
06/27/2020 at 14:10 | 0 |
People have made the connection haha. Disney owns a hotel with a fake lagoon, they actually kept the Black Pearl during filming near there.
Jim Spanfeller
> Ash78, voting early and often
06/27/2020 at 18:36 | 0 |
“cutting in line for a Fastpass.”
No w don’t you go badmouthing Fastpass! When it takes hours to wait in line the normal way and Disney gives you an easy-to-use system that saves hours of your day helping you avoid much of the waiting, you EMBRACE THE FASTPASS WITH GRATITUDE.
Jim Spanfeller
> Ash78, voting early and often
06/27/2020 at 18:43 | 1 |
I only know what it’s about because my grandparents had the children’s books of the stories. Thing is, the only part of Song of the South that could be considered racist was the stereotypical black man telling the stories. The stories themselves are basically just whimsical stories of an anthropomorphic rabbit outsmarting a bear and a fox. Honestly, it’s a shame that they were associated with Song of the South because I remember them being fun stories.
Ash78, voting early and often
> Jim Spanfeller
06/27/2020 at 21:25 | 1 |
Now that you mention it, yes. I don’t see why they couldn’t edit Uncle Remus character out of it and just let the stories stand.
Even then — and I’m going from memory here — I don’t really see much different in that compared to how we collectively regard Morgan Freeman today. He’s like everybody’s grandpa, and everyone loves him. The consummate voiceover/storyteller. But....
I think it was the character was a long-standing stereotype character h imself, and was just too close to the “happy slave” revisionist character that a lot of reconstruction-era Southerners used to excuse the evils.
Shit is complicated...
Taylor Martin
> Ash78, voting early and often
06/28/2020 at 18:53 | 0 |
I feel like a Zootopia ride would be fantastic, but wouldn’t it be more fitting in Animal Kingdom rather than Magic Kingdom? Just a thought, though His Stigness is right, there’s very little real estate at any of the parks anymore.